Reality

Inspiration from My Utmost for His Highest Oswald hits the nail on the head:

We have the idea that God is going to do some exceptional thing-- that He is preparing and equipping us for some extraordinary work in the future. But as we grown in His grace we find that God is glorifying Himself here and now, at this very moment. If we have God's assurance behind us, the most amazing strength becomes ours, and we learn to sing, glorifying Him even in the ordinary days and ways of life.

Often times we think that there must be this big elaborate plan for us...because well, we are who we are...and God must have something big in mind. We tend to focus and think about how great God has made US, instead of thinking about how great HE is. Truth of the matter, in the end anything great happening in our lives is because of Him, and we will fall before Him, seeing His great Glory...throwing any crowns or riches at His feet, even though it's not enough...

Look around...God is using today, working all things according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28), if you love Him....this is the big plan, that you would be sanctified (1 Thess. 4:3). Love God, Love others, these are the two greatest commandments...for NOW, not later!

Transition

There is so much change taking place in my life right now...most of it I don't even know the end result. It's the kind of change that makes you question who you are...NOT like why you were created, but more like personality issues.

Please excuse the fact (if anyone is reading this) that I am still trying to figure this thought out in my head...so it might not make sense to anyone but myself.

As humans we think we know what we want and what we like, and in reality I don't have that figured out in my life. AND it seems that as I "grow up" it's getting more confusing. (Yes, I graduated with a counseling degree)

Anywho, what I'm trying to get at is this idea...I just read this section in Francis Chan's book Crazy Love, which is phenomenal!

Each of us, to some degree, fools our friends and family about who we really are. But it's impossible to do that with God. He knows each of us, deeply and specifically. He knows our thoughts before we think them and our actions before we commit them, whether we are lying down or sitting or walking around. He knows who we are and what we are about. We cannot escape Him, even if we want to. When I grow weary of trying to be faithful to Him and want a break, it doesn't come as a surprise to God.

I desperately need God's grace and forgiveness for thinking that I know what's best...and for putting on any sort of persona to make others think anything different than just what I am. I need to be captivated by God's great love for me...not concerned in the least about what others think of me....if I am faithful to HIM, I am who I am...I am who He created me to be in the womb...I will do what He determined for me to do before the foundations of the earth!

I am overwhelmed...and scared....but still in the grip of God. In the grip of Him who holds the world in His hand...and that is a comfort...a scary kind of comfort.